I was sitting here just now looking around my house and realising.. I have a lot of stuff.
No, not stuff. Crap.
I hate it all. Everything I own. Sometimes I think about how liberating it would feel if I only just collected it all, brought it outside, and had a magnificent bonfire. Let the memories burn away with the flames.
Occasionally I try to purge my life of unnecessary belongings which I feel are slowly throttling me, and as I go through it thoughts like ‘oh I can’t get rid of that, that’s when yada bla bla happened.’ Or ‘wow that’s such a great little trinket from when I went on that trip that one time. I should keep it, better let it sit neglected in this dark box for another few years.’
I mean it’s getting ridiculous. I have clothes I haven’t worn in years, clothes I bought and never wore, trinkets from elementary school, and tons of books. Books from uni, books I read as a kid, books I hate, books I still have to read, cookbooks. There are binders, boxes, cables, wires for ancient computers, plugs for phones I don’t use anymore, phones I don’t use anymore.. I could go on. But you get the point.
Part of it is I don’t know what to do about certain things. Like wires and phones. What the hell do you do with them? I don’t want to just throw them out. I think there’s a way to recycle them, but I don’t know where or how. I’m too lazy to look into the matter so I just think I’ll do it later.
The worst is the sentimental things. I have a cardigan that my grandmother bought me when I was 11.. I am in my 20s now. I have always hated this cardigan and have never once worn it (sorry, Grandma. RIP.) Every time I think I should donate it I feel this overwhelming sensation of guilt. Like my Grandma will somehow manage to be sad even though she’s been gone for years.
And I have a Furby. That’s right, a Furby.
If you don’t know what that looks like go ahead and google it. It’s one of those hideous little talking toys from way back in the day (although I think they have since made a comeback.) Every time I look at its stupid face I wonder why it’s there yet I never get rid of it. Annoyingly it still works, and every now and then someone accidentally tips it over and you hear it waking up, making its yawning noises, and asking to play. This happened the other day when my boyfriend stumbled upon it. I yelled out Noooooooooooo! very dramatically because once it wakes up it takes FOREVER to put back to sleep. My dogs started barking because of course they don’t understand what could possibly be making such inane sounds. I ended up sitting there for countless minutes like a pathetic minion holding my hand over the Furby’s light sensor so that it would sleep and shut up. All the while my dogs are barking their heads off and the Furby is singing “lalalalalala” to itself and wiggling its dumb ears up and down. I am 25 years old.
I am moving in a month and a half, and when I go I want to go with a clean slate. I don’t want to bring all this baggage along with me. I am cluttered to the core. So over the next couple of weeks I am going to have to learn to be brutal with my possessions. Even the thought that I won’t have any of this crap around anymore makes me feel lighter somehow. I don’t need things to keep memories, I should just write down the important ones instead of keeping them around in the form of stuff that piles up around me. I should learn to be a minimalist.
How do you deal with your excess stuff?